Don’t Give Up on Chinese!
Every few months, I go through my old bedroom in my parents’ house and find new things to give or throw away. On returning from China, it was apparent I don’t do this enough. Man, I have a lot of junk. So I went through everything again and ditched even more stuff. Then the garbage man hauled the trash away, and I wheeled the garbage can back around the house. Curious, I glanced inside the can and saw that one thing didn’t make it into the garbage truck. It was my little case of character flashcards from my Chinese 1010 class.
I guess that’s a sign that I shouldn’t give up learning Chinese just yet. Don’t worry, I haven’t!
Flying a Long-Distance Relationship
A few days before I left China, my girlfriend and I went to the park to fly kites. We had two, one for her and one for me. When the wind picked up, I got a little too excited and let all of the string on my kite unravel. The end of the string wasn’t tied to the handle, though, so the kite flew away, crashed into the lake, and disappeared forever. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere.
But I didn’t leave China with the intent to disappear forever. We are still together and are willing to brave a long-distance relationship. My friends and family have been supportive of this decision and have usually just said, “That’s cool.” The support on my girlfriend’s end, however, has been much more sinister. If people don’t bluntly say, “So what can you do,” they offer negative advice like, “Long-distance relationships are too hard. They never work out. Why don’t you just find a Chinese boyfriend? You don’t want to go to the US. You won’t like it there.”
Sometimes, I wish I was still in China so I could tell these people to shut the hell up.
Chinese Snack: Suan La Fen
Now that I’ve overindulged on Mexican food, it’s time to reminisce about Chinese cuisines again. Another favorite place of mine to eat in China was at the Ba Jie snack shops. They are most famous for “suan la fen,” an ass-kickingly spicy bowl of noodles with meat balls. It only costs five yuan, and there’s usually a huge line crowd of people waiting to buy it.
But Ba Jie has more than just suan la fen. Their chicken wings (ji chi) are the best chicken wings in China. They’re cheap, too! You’d pay twice as much for the same amount of wings in a sit-down restaurant. And to top it off, you gotta try one of those flat, baked pizza-type… things (called “bing” in Chinese). Be on the lookout.
Initial Differences Between China and the US
It’s always strange to return from a foreign country, because, on one hand, it feels like you never left. Everything you did on the other side of the world never happened, and the only reminder you have that you went anywhere is that shelf full of useless souvenirs. But I have been away for a long time, and there are many things about life here that are definitely different from life in China.
Immediately out of the airport, I noticed how much cleaner and quieter the US (or at least Utah) is. That could be because Utah isn’t “big city” like China, but then cars also honk less frequently, and people don’t yell at each other to have a normal conversation. You could have the same number of people in Changzhou’s Walmart or Provo, Utah’s Walmart, and the Changzhou Walmart will always be louder.
What I’m most relieved to get away from, however, is the smoking. I cannot stress enough how physically ill second-hand smoke makes me. Granted, this is a constant battle in the US, too, but at least there are laws to help protect non-smokers. I haven’t had to smell that crap once since I got back. Still, I’m not used to being in a smoke-free restaurant. I keep expecting the guys sitting next to me to start smoking at any second. I hear a “click” and automatically cringe, because it reminds me of the constant clicking of lighters I heard all the time in China.
The weather also feels a lot warmer here, which, at a glance, probably doesn’t make sense. Americans are much better about keeping their buildings heated, though, because we use this crazy technology called insulation, and we don’t open the damn windows during the winter! In China, I had to wear two pairs of pants, a beanie, a jacket, and a coat at all times to stay warm, and that’s suggesting that I actually stayed warm. I didn’t. I was always cold, even in my own apartment. Home again, although there’s snow outside, I’ve been able to shed a layer, because it’s easier to escape the cold.
TV Roundup: Volume 10
Community (Season 1)
Having been to a community college, I was looking forward to a new show that poked fun of those unfortunate bastards who couldn’t (or refused to) get accepted by a better university. Mid-season, though, it became apparent the “community college” theme was only an excuse to allow what are your basic high school characters to drink past curfew. True, community college is kind of like an extension of high school, but many of the characters are old. Hey, Chevy Chase is in it, and he’s aged well past the point when he was ever funny. Then there’s the obligatory but tedious “they hate each other / they like each other” relationship, and the need to give so many actors screen time every episode results in disjointed story lines that rarely wrap up in satisfying ways. Community isn’t a complete waste, though. There are some very, very funny moments, particularly anything involving the students’ Asian Spanish teacher whose apathy towards teaching is hilariously relatable. All the padding in between, however, is absolutely boring.
Modern Family (Season 1)
I’m glad the traditional sitcom, with its irritating laugh track, is seeing a decline, but I’m not too thrilled with the new wave of documentary-style shows. Modern Family, however, finally uses this style well. The camera operator doesn’t get carried away with too many zooms, the actors only subtly acknowledge the camera’s presence, and interviews don’t feel like they’re pulling actors out of the immediate action. It works. I’m actually surprised by Modern Family… in a good way. It’s an ABC comedy, but it’s so unlike anything else I’ve seen from the network. Music is rarely used. It doesn’t ham up the jokes. The characters are realistic portrayals of—get this—modern families! I don’t think “comedy” is the best classification for it, though. The show doesn’t feel like it’s trying to be funny, nor does it feel like it’s trying to be dramatic. It really feels like an honest view of three related families who just happen to do amusing things sometimes and life-learning things at other times.
Prison Break (Season 1)
I have the same problem with Prison Break that I did with Dexter. A good three-hour movie has been spread across 22 episodes, and the end result takes way to long to get to the rewarding stuff. True, 24 is the same way, but every episode of 24 was exciting. Prison Break hits a lot of lulls, and I frequently found myself screaming, “Escape from prison already!” The hitches the gang’s escape plan runs into are more irritating than thrilling, although there were a few times when I was genuinely concerned about what would happen in the next episode. My biggest problem with the show, though, is that I just don’t like the characters I’m supposed to like. Ringleader Michael Scofield is ambiguous and level-headed to an annoying degree, and the rest of the “heroes” just aren’t very convincing. The best actors are those who ended up playing the sleazy scumbags, but because they’re sleazy scumbags, it’s hard to like them. Sleazy scumbags.
Scrubs (Seasons 1-3)
This is a show that feels like it’s patting itself on the back for not using a laugh track, but all they’ve done is replace audience laughter with cheesy sound effects and obnoxious music cues. I bitch about the music in everything I watch, but Scrubs really overdoes it and either uses ill-fitting music for its montages… or drags those musical montages on for too long. It’s the worst use of music I’ve seen in a TV show. Barring that, Scrubs still manages to be a harmless and easily digested comedy/drama. But there’s the catch. One minute, it’s rambunctious and over-the-top, then suddenly it switches gears, and now we’re supposed to be sad about a dying patient. One of these extremes needed to be more subtle, because trying to juggle both just makes me feel guilty for laughing moments earlier and/or bored when the slapstick stops. You could call it a dark comedy if you really wanted to justify it, but then there’s that music again, telling me how to feel. Let me do it myself!
Another Chinese Wii Knock-Off
Once again, the Walmart in Changzhou decided to stock another Wii knock-off in their toy aisle. While it’s not as funny as the one called WiNi, it is considerably cheaper at $12. But I’m still not tempted to buy one. Keep trying, China.
The Stressful Return From Overseas
It’s a little overwhelming how chores start to stack up when you’ve been abroad for almost two years. Now that I’m back home, I have a lot on my plate. I have to get my car re-insured and my driver’s license renewed. I have to take care of several doctors’ appointments before my coverage expires next month. I have to figure out what to do with all the crap I brought over from China and what to do with all the crap that was still here. I don’t even have a US cell phone yet and am hesitant to start shopping for one, because everyone I know complains about the plan they’re currently on.
Oh, and, at some point, I have to look for a new job.
In China, it was nice how my only responsibility was to show up to class four times a day and pretend to know what I was doing. The school took care of everything else. I think that’s one of the biggest draws to teaching in China: no responsibility! No bills to pay. No taxes to file. No cars to maintain (assuming you are sane enough not to drive in China). You don’t even need to take your job seriously. If you can sing and dance, most schools are happy to accommodate you. But being in the US again, I have to start making the calls myself and actually exercise some independence. Damn.
Flying From Shanghai to Tokyo to LA to Utah
As much as I love traveling and sightseeing, I hate flying. It’s not a fear of flying that keeps me from enjoying it, either, but rather an irritation with the whole process that starts mild then quickly escalates until I’m screaming inside, “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I’M GONNA SOCK THE NEXT PERSON THAT LOOKS AT ME!”
The 9-hour flight from Tokyo to LA is always a doozy.
Trying to sleep in an upright position or trying to eat on a little table while the guy in front of you is fully reclined or trying not to wake the person next to you as you climb over them to go use the bathroom are all valid annoyances. When you’ve taken a 28-hour train in China twice, though, these seem like little things. Nevertheless, I can’t help but glare disapprovingly at the smug bastards in First Class every time I board a new plane.
The aspect of flying I hate the most is the rigmarole you have to go through at every airport. Showing up two hours early isn’t even enough anymore. After checking in at the Pudong airport in Shanghai, we were told we needed to board the plane 55 minutes before it left. We arrived at our terminal 30 minutes early, which, in a normal universe, is plenty of time, but they were already announcing our names over the intercom to hurry and get on so we could sit and wait 40 minutes before taking off.
The number of security checks they send you through has gotten way out of hand, as well. In Shanghai, there was the usual check, but then they went through my carry-on again before getting on the plane. And then I had to do another security check as soon as I got off the plane in Tokyo. I went from airport to airplane to airport. Where did I find time to pick up something dangerous?! It really discourages me from wanting to do anymore traveling. But… then I forget just how bad the 24-hour airport marathon is, and I end up doing it again. I’m a sucker that way.
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