The League – Season 7

The League

I’m ashamed to admit that The League was once one of my favorite shows. Season 4 in particular was great, when they actually started surpassing It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia as far as mean-spirited comedies are concerned. But then Season 5 happened, and the show has sucked ever since. Like, so much suck. At this point, I’m just glad the series is finally dead. I stopped liking most of these characters a long time ago. Pete had become an insufferable douchebag, and Taco’s EBDB shtick was relentlessly obnoxious. Season 7 also brought another set of Ruxin-less episodes and didn’t use Rafi that much, either. Those two were pretty much carrying the show lately, so leaving them both out kind of stung.

Ah, but then there’s the obligatory “Rafi and Dirty Randy episode,” and Season 7’s was, by far, the worst they’ve ever done. It actually started out promising with Sophia’s death and the possibility that Ruxin made it all up, but then we got a terrible animated short that confirmed Sophia was, in fact, dead, and that chupacabras are real, and that Rafi only works as a real person in a real world and not as an over-the-top cartoon. It’s like the The League completely forgot how to use Rafi’s character correctly. At least Season 7 had the balls to finally knock Pete down a few pegs and give Andre a few wins. Having Andre (happily) date Pete’s ex-wife made for some nice comeuppance.

Of course, this being The League and all, and considering how much the writers have been in love with Pete, he still came out on top in the end. Which really irked me, because the season/series finale was doing so many other things right. I laughed more times during the finale than I laughed over the course of the rest of the season. We got to see Ruxin’s hilarious son again, and I’m glad Shiva came back one last time, but it was Larry David’s cameo that really brought a smile to my face. Seeing him on The League made me wish this show had stayed good. But Season 7 (like the two seasons before it) felt like nobody cared anymore. The stories were lazy, the jokes unoriginal, and the characters grating. So good riddance, I guess, and rest in peace.

Dariusburst: Chronicle Saviours

DARIUSBURST Chronicle Saviours

Good Lord, this shoot ’em up has it all. I don’t think I’ve ever played a shooter that felt this complete. The hefty price tag is pretty much justified here, though I wouldn’t blame you if that’s a sticking point. Dariusburst is an expensive game. Steam has had a deluge of shoot ’em ups recently, which hasn’t helped its case, but when I think of older releases like Deathsmiles, which also sold for a premium, you’re getting a lot more with Dariusburst. Across its two modes—Arcade and CS—you’ll have access to more levels than you could ever hope to beat in one sitting.

As for the gameplay, it is quintessential shoot ’em up material. There are multiple ships to choose from. Collecting power-ups is actually useful. Your secondary attack is satisfying to use and refills quickly. Some enemy bullets can be stopped by your own bullets. And you can even reverse the direction of your ship to take out straggling enemies. That also lends to some interesting and intense boss fights where the boss will switch sides mid-battle. There are perhaps too many boss fights, though, with not enough time spent on the sections leading up to them. While the variety of bosses is quite good, it still causes the game to get a little repetitive and deflates the selling point of having thousands of levels.

I also much prefer CS Mode over Arcade Mode. CS Mode (or, unofficially, Story Mode) feels like a true “console” experience. It supports a more common resolution and doesn’t let you continue indefinitely. But it’s not overly punishing, because points you earn can be used to buy and upgrade custom ships, and there are branching level paths to work down if you get stuck in a particular section. Unfortunately, CS Mode does not support co-op. Only Arcade Mode has this feature. If you don’t have a dual monitor setup, though, Arcade Mode is severely letterboxed. As such, I just don’t see myself going into this part of the game often. But I’m more than happy sticking with CS Mode.

Jessica Jones – Season 1

Jessica Jones

Jessica Jones will undoubtedly be compared to Netflix’s other Marvel show, Daredevil, but it actually reminds me of Heroes more than anything (or at least, those brief moments when Heroes was sorta kinda good). It doesn’t pack the same gritty gut punch that Daredevil did. Its pace is slower, its tone brooding, and its story full of detours. I mean, seriously, Jessica’s quest to find the villain, Kilgrave, is frequently derailed by other people’s desires, to the point where you start to wonder if this Kilgrave guy is even much of a threat.

When Kilgrave is used correctly, however, he is a scary bad guy. But like Sylar from Heroes, Kilgrave works better as an offscreen threat. The first few episodes where we only see Kilgrave’s brainwashed victims are terrifying. Jessica Jones shows the dangers of mind control better than anything else I’ve seen, and some of the things Kilgrave makes people do are absolutely horrific. Alas, once we get to know the man and his motives, the show almost grinds to a halt. Fortunately, things pick up again in later episodes, and the show ends on a strong note. I just feel like the journey there could have been condensed.

One theme that was particularly interesting, though, was the exploration of the show’s secondary characters and how they were affected by the actions of the heroes and villains. Any other show would have simply shrugged off the death of a non-important character, but Jessica Jones continues to follow the consequences of this “collateral damage.” Hell, there’s even a support group for Kilgrave survivors! Things like that help keep the superhero stuff grounded. And I guess that’s ultimately what this show is: the realistic comic book story that Heroes failed to be.

Master of None – Season 1

Master of None

I guess the fad now is to give a stand-up comedian a television show where they play an alternate version of themselves wandering around LA or New York, trying to be more poignant than their stand-up act lets on. Master of None definitely feels like Louie and, to a lesser extent, Maron and Legit. I’m already liking Master of None more, though. While I don’t really care for Aziz Ansari’s stand-up routine, I do like him as an actor and, considering we’re almost the same age, find him more relatable. But even if he was ten years older, I would hope that Ansari’s enthusiastic personality would still be a thing. It’s much more enjoyable watching him react to a bad situation, because his delivery, even when he’s “sad,” is energetic and fun.

For instance, one of my favorite exchanges is when Ansari tells a story to H. Jon Benjamin’s character, whose response is, “That’s a pretty boring story. I wouldn’t tell that to anyone else.” And Ansari replies, “Yeah, I could feel it going south as I was saying it.” I feel like every other show would have turned that into a big argument or sticking point for the characters, but Ansari’s Dev self-deprecatingly shrugs it off and moves on. Unfortunately, there weren’t a lot of other laugh-out-loud moments in the series. Sure, most of it is at least amusing, but Ansari and team are clearly striving to wax philosophical and fight social injustices with this project. Which is fine. It doesn’t have to be hilarious. I just hope future seasons don’t turn into an all-out drama like Louie has become.

Can I back up for a minute, though, and say how great it is that H. Jon Benjamin has a recurring role? It’s always fun to see him outside of cartoon voice-overs. But the rest of Dev’s friends and co-workers aren’t nearly as endearing. His main band of friends in particular didn’t work for me. It wasn’t that they were dumb characters but that the actors’ performances felt forced, like every one of them had been miscast and was now stuck trying to make the best of it. I’m not sure it was a good idea to use Ansari’s real life parents as Dev’s parents, either. His father seemed to enjoy the role, but his mother always looked like she was reading cue cards. Regardless, despite the overall weak cast, it’s a fun show, and I really hope we see a second season next year.

Jane the Virgin – Season 1

Jane the Virgin

Jane the Virgin is notable in that it has the first love triangle that I’ve actually been able to tolerate. This isn’t just about a girl trying to choose between a vampire and a werewolf. The circumstances (being accidentally artificially inseminated) create an environment where… yeah, I could see how it would be difficult to know who you’re meant to be with. And so I don’t mind the back-and-forth there. I just hope it doesn’t drag out for the entire lifespan of the series. But it’s not like that’s the only plot going on. Jane the Virgin is full of drama—occasionally overdoing it at times—so the pregnancy is often in the background of everything else going on.

The best way to describe this show is that it’s a Spanish telenovela made for American audiences. The situations are ridiculous, sure, but the characters are believable and likable. And while there are many attempts to tug at the viewer’s emotions, the overall tone is fairly lighthearted. In fact, it kind of reminds me of Arrested Development. The narrator is jokey and meta, there are many cutaway gags, and the writers obviously delight in coming up with clever ways to transition between scenes. Plus, the ensemble is great. Gina Rodriguez is an extremely talented actress, though my favorite character is Rogelio, whose Hollywood-like buffoonery helps balance out the constant cry sessions from the Villanueva family.

The grandmother character kind of bugged me, though. While her somewhat judgmental religious beliefs are probably true to many Latina families, it doesn’t always make for good TV. At least Jane felt more like Charlie Brown in that, despite her best efforts to be a good person, things didn’t always go her way. It’s easier to root for a preachy underdog than a preachy overdog. But my bigger complaint with the grandma is how she only spoke Spanish while every other character only spoke English with her. The creators clearly weren’t afraid to include Spanish dialogue, so why water it down? Why treat it like a Star Wars cantina? The show embraces so much culture already, they didn’t need to stop at 90%. But then I don’t mind reading subtitles, so I’m sure I’m the exception here.

Splatoon

Splatoon

I really wish I liked Splatoon more than I do. It’s such a great idea, like a third-person shooter Battle Painters. And if any other studio had been behind it, I think it would have turned out great. Alas, Nintendo just doesn’t know how to make a good online game. Wait, I take that back. Mario Kart 8 was superb, so I really don’t understand how they messed this up. Oddly, you have to choose your weapon (i.e. character class) before you join an online game. You can’t see what other players are choosing, which makes it impossible to create a balanced team. Then if you decide you don’t like the weapon you chose, you have to exit the lobby and join a new match. So ridiculous…

Oh, but that’s not the last of it. When you join a friend’s game, you won’t always be put on the same team. My brother and I tried to play together several times and were only on the same team maybe 20% of the time. Team assignment seemed to be completely random. It wouldn’t even try to balance out the levels of each player. I’m kind of late to the Splatoon party, though, and most players are already at Level 30+. That means they have access to better weapons, which is frustrating. It takes too long to level up, earn gold, and buy/unlock new stuff. I’m already running out of patience at Level 7. I hate most of the guns, anyway. Because we’re dealing with paint, most weapons have a very short range. Only the paint roller has been fun to use, but, going back to my previous point, it can be annoying if everyone on your team chooses a roller.

I think the only way to really enjoy this game is if you have enough personal friends to play with. That way, you can set up a private match and circumvent the daily arena restrictions (yes, every day, you only have access to two arenas for some dumbass reason). That would also let you lay down some ground rules and allow for better coordination with teammates. For lone gamers, however, I just can’t recommend this, despite how much I want to support the game’s originality. The single-player mode may be a nice consolation prize, but the meat of the game is the online mode, and it is just way too unfriendly for anyone who has ever played a good online multiplayer game before.