Archives for Category "Anything Goes"
Some Things I Like about this Commercial
To help promote my new websites somethingsilike.com and somethingsihate.com, I put together a quick video about… well… about things people may like and hate. I would love to keep creating more commercials like this in the future, but for now, enjoy number one:
I Dream of Animal Research
I moved to an island so I could conduct research on the bizarre animals that lived there. I remember studying a frog that was addicted to honey, but the animal that intrigued me the most was a gigantic, white dog that lived in the mountains. It would only show itself for a few seconds in the morning, then disappear. I kept getting up early to try to record footage of the dog, but it was impossible to get a good shot of it.
My research was then put on hold when the queen of the island called me in. She was drafting me into her army and wanted me to pick out my battle suit from her collection of glittery and showy armor. I was not happy about this at all. I was here to do research, not fight! A Chinese friend of mine, however, pointed out that if I just assassinated the queen, her army would disband, and I could go back to doing my own thing. That got the wheels turning.
I bought a sniper rifle and camped out in a tower across from the queen’s residence. I shot and killed her and thought that would be the end of that, but the next day, my friend came to me with a paper. He wanted me to write a statement admitting what I’d done and sign it. I cried and pleaded with him not to make me do this. He assured me this was the only way. If I kept quiet about it, the town’s detective would eventually sniff me out, anyway.
Suddenly, the TV announced breaking news: someone had moved the queen’s magical crystals. That’s why she died. If those crystals weren’t in the perfect formation at all times, something bad was bound to happen. Now the investigation was switching gears to find the person responsible for moving the crystals. After seeing this, I gave the paper back to my friend and saw him to the door.
Now Introducing Somethingsilike.com
When I launched somethingsihate.com at the end of May, I fully intended to make a supplemental sister site called somethingsilike.com. I couldn’t have people thinking I was a negative person, could I? It took a while, but the new website is finally up. Uh… I guess I spoiled the surprise by linking to it two sentences ago. If you could never think of anything you hated, though, now you can talk about the things you like!
My Trip to Japan, Courtesy of Delta Airlines
I have the worst of luck when it comes to traveling, so much so that I should probably give up for a while. On my flight to China, I had a layover in Tokyo. When the plane arrived, the captain announced that a few connecting flights (including mine to Shanghai) were delayed and static static static static. Uh… what? I had no idea what to do. Was I supposed to sleep in the airport? When was my new flight? Everybody I asked, though, just pointed in some arbitrary direction and said, “Go straight ahead.”
After about five or six straight aheads, I wound up in the Japan immigration line. Wait a minute… this seemed wrong. I wasn’t immigrating. I just wanted to know when my new flight was! I felt like crying, but after receiving a 90-day Japanese visa and exiting the airport (which, again, felt like I was doing the exact opposite of what I should), I met a group of fellow bewildered travelers. We were taken to a hotel and given a free room and meal voucher. Over curry and beer, we talked about why we were trying to get to Shanghai and how badly this delay was messing us up.
When I was finally able to sit in my hotel room and look at the cute, blue pajamas on the bed, relieved that somebody was finally able to promise me a flight first thing in the morning, this side excursion ended up being kind of fun. I have always wanted to visit Japan, after all. While being sent to a hotel for one night doesn’t exactly constitute a proper trip, I at least have a stamp in my passport now that says I’ve been there. And, hopefully, I’ll be able to go again some day and see more than just one street and a 7-11.
By the way, please keep posting on somethingsihate.com. Kthanxbye.
Somethingsihate.com is Now Live
As if trying to write a book about China wasn’t hard enough, my free time has also been consumed with launching somethingsihate.com. This is a website that allows people to anonymously post rants about the things that drive them crazy. And, yes, there will be a somethingsilike.com, too. But you’re going to have to wait for that one. If you hate waiting, well… you know what to do.
Take Down Your Animated US Flags!
Bad websites are everywhere, but one thing that really stands out to me when considering ugly design is the use of animated graphics of the US flag. Nothing cheapens the look of your website faster than this beautiful piece of art:
What baffles me is that professional companies tack this into their sites like it’s a status symbol. But there are so many better pictures of the flag out there if you absolutely have to show that your online store is patriotic. We know what a flag does. We don’t need to see it waving. By including it on your site, though, you’ve just made your hard work look like Tommy’s first HTML project.
A few examples I managed to dig up include this, this, this, this, this, and this. As you’ll notice, sites that display an animated flag are usually poorly designed, anyway, but the underlining problem always starts with their ambition to use a simple GIF. So, please, stop putting this on your web pages.
The Book About China
I start a new job tomorrow, and while I’m happy to finally be working again, I’m not too thrilled by the idea of working 9-5. Teaching in China spoiled me. Oh, it was still hard work, but the schedule itself was pretty relaxed and only consisted of four class periods a day. The rest of the time I could do whatever I wanted (i.e. sleep and watch DVDs). I haven’t actually worked 9-5 for a long time.
Part of why I’m reluctant to jump into web development is that, despite how natural it comes to me, I had always told myself I was going to write and publish a book. Writing was the easy part. Publishing, however, proved to be a hurdle. Turns out, fantasy adventures aren’t as easy to pitch as they sound. Now that I will be working a full-time job, though, that’s less time to spend on my real passion. The blog is probably going to suffer a lot, too.
The weight of the job, however, has inspired me to finally get serious about writing my book about China. Oh, come on, you knew it was going to happen! I’ve actually already written a book about my experiences with ILP in 2005 (there’s been a sample chapter on my website for years), but I wasn’t happy with the end result. So I’m doing it over and focusing more on the teaching aspect of being in China as opposed to me going about my day-to-day life. Plus, it’ll include episodes from the 2006 summer camp and everything about Changzhou I wasn’t willing to post online. Oh, yeah!
Slot Canyons Near Escalante, Utah
While in China, I was very adamant about seeing as many sights as possible. I had to take advantage of my time there! Now that I’m back in Utah, there’s no rush to go sightseeing. These things will always be here. I, unfortunately, will probably always be here, too.
When I sit down and look at all the available attractions in the area, though, there’s an impressive diversity in my own backyard. The Peek-a-Boo and Spooky slot canyons near Escalante ended up being better spectacles than the Leshan Giant Buddha in Chengdu, and I paid a lot of money to see that Buddha! The canyons were free.
But that’s not to say people shouldn’t travel to China, since there are so many great things to see in the homeland. Remember this, this, and this? Still worth it. But it’s nice to appreciate what’s around your home, too.
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