Archives for Category "Anything Goes"
Criticizing TV From Another Country
One thing that has helped my wife’s homesickness for China is watching Chinese TV shows on her computer. She’s even started watching shows she normally didn’t care about, like the multitude of war-time dramas, because, hey, at least it’s in Chinese. One of the shows she’s been enjoying is a Taiwanese “game show” where a group of people sit around a table and play a “find the murderer” parlor game. There are a lot of variations of this, so I’m sure you’ve played it at a party sometime in your life. Two people are killers, two people are police officers, and the rest are civilians. The killers are trying to figure out who the police officers are (and kill them) before the civilians figure out who the killers are and boot them from the table.
It seems silly that there would be a TV show focused entirely on something we play with our friends when we’re bored, especially since the people on the show wear costumes and really ham it up. I recall coming across a lot of similarly goofy and dumb shows when I would click through the channels in China, looking for something (anything!) I could stand to watch. But if viewing episodes of The Soup has taught me anything, it’s that Americans have no room to criticize. We have some truly awful, pointless, embarrassing TV shows right here in our own country. I’m looking at you, Jersey Shore. In comparison, a “find the murderer” parlor game doesn’t seem so bad.
The China Books Postmortem
I have two self-published, China-related books on the market: one a short e-book “guide” published in April 2011, the other a paperback novel (and e-book) published in July 2011. Now that they’ve been out for a while, I wanted to publicly assess how they’ve been doing. Well… I haven’t been able to quit my day job, but sales have at least covered all of my publishing and marketing expenses.
The teaching guide, for instance, has consistently sold 10-12 copies every month since its release and has appeared on a few “things to get before traveling to China” lists. Actual feedback has been scarce, however, except for the occasional complaint that the book is too small. Apparently, people don’t like paying $1 for something that has the words “quick guide” in its title and advertises itself as a 5,600 word handbook that doesn’t end up being a full-length novel. Go figure.
I’m actually a little worried A Quick Guide to Teaching’s presence is hurting sales of Yes China!, since readers may buy the former, thinking they are getting something more akin to the latter but at a steal of a price, then walking away disgruntled. The two books were supposed to stand alone (and possibly complement each other). I doubt everyone else sees it that way.
But Yes China! has still been doing okay. It was originally pushing only 4-6 e-books and 1 paperback every month. Then things picked up in November and December when it sold upwards of 10 e-books and 8 paperbacks per month. For a while, I was thinking the paperback market was dead, so it’s cool to see paperback sales finally competing with e-book sales.
There are a handful of reviews on Amazon for the book, but only a few third-party websites have officially reviewed it, including Books and Novels to Read, Lost Laowai, and Mark’s China Blog. It’s a lot harder to get someone to review a book as opposed to a movie or game, and many of the active China bloggers out there don’t typically cover non-political, tongue-in-cheek teacher stories.
That said, reception of the book has been fairly divided. The emphasis on teaching, the humor, and the disjointed order of events were all conscious choices but have been met with as much praise as they have criticism. These features were my way of separating Yes China! from the multitude of other “American in China” stories, with Peter Hessler’s trilogy being the biggest competition. But when it comes to China, maybe readers don’t want different.
I’m not taking that to mean there is no market for silly travelogues, though. Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods and even David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day were both big inspirations when writing Yes China!, and people who enjoy those kind of half travel books should find something to like here. If I write another “Yes Country” book, though, it looks like I’ll have to cut down on the self-referential jokes and talking about whatever work I’m doing there. In this case, it was teaching, and most people felt those chapters were the weakest parts.
Christmas vs. Spring Festival
Spring Festival (a.k.a. Chinese New Year) is the biggest holiday in China. Christmas is the biggest holiday in the US. My wife just experienced her first American Christmas, and her #1 observation was: it’s a pretty quiet holiday comparatively. Spring Festival is a non-stop, week-long barrage of fireworks. Noise is a big part of the celebration, as the origin of the tradition was to use fireworks to scare off a monster.
She did find it interesting, though, how people would hang lights on (and station inflatable snowmen in front of) their homes. It’s vastly different than the Chinese tradition of pasting red banners around the door. Her favorite was a house in Salt Lake that’s notorious for syncing its lights to the radio. I’m always amazed how “all out” people go for Christmas decorations.
The practice of giving/getting lots of presents on Christmas day was also new to her. In China, they do give each other gifts, but it’s in the form of a red envelope with money inside. When exchanging Christmas gifts, however, you’re never quite sure what somebody’s going to give you, which is what makes it so fun.
My wife enjoyed the presents aspect of Christmas but still felt Spring Festival trumps it overall. Her reason: the food. While candy and cookies and big dinners are certainly a part of Christmas, they don’t quite match the 30+ dishes you would find in a typical Spring Festival meal. To her, it would be like having Thanksgiving dinner without turkey. There’s no substitute for traditional food.
A Busy Disneyland: A Normal Chinese Day
My family and I went to Disneyland over Thanksgiving weekend. As much as Sarah has been looking forward to finally seeing this place, my parents warned her that it would be very crowded during the holidays. “I’m Chinese, I can handle it!” she said. Yes, Disneyland was busy, but we both joked how the lines were still shorter than those at the Shanghai Expo, and at least you got to go on a ride at the end!
Amusingly, after only a few days in Los Angeles, Sarah was ready to go back to Utah where it was quieter. LA was too busy for her. It’s only been eight months since she arrived in the US, and she’s already grown accustomed to the smaller crowds. We are so easily spoiled here! It’ll be interesting when we make our first trip back to China, then, where every Saturday and Sunday is “Thanksgiving at Disneyland.”
Returning Home From a Proxy Server
I use proxies a lot at work, but not because I have anything to hide. A proxy is a website that lets you browse the Internet under a different IP address. Sometimes, I need to test region-specific code outside of our internal network. Other people might use a proxy to bypass measures their school has used to block Facebook… or measures their government has used to block Facebook, among other things. Sound familiar? Well, that would be China.
It’s no surprise that using the Internet in China can be a pain. Desperate expats will pay for a VPN service, but cheapskates like myself either do without our favorite websites or hunt for free proxies to use. The problem with proxy hunting is that, as soon as you find a good one, the Chinese government blocks it the next week. In all my months of living in China, the only proxy I could consistently rely on was called hidefap.com.
I know, I know. It’s not a very respectable name. At expat parties, it was always embarrassing when we would discuss what new proxies we were using, and I had to admit, “Yeah, I’m using this site called… um… hide… fap…” For some reason, though, it never got blocked, so I always used it.
Back in the US, the first time I needed to test a script from a different IP address at work, my instinct was to go to hidefap.com. But then I realized it probably wouldn’t look good if an employee was frequently visiting a site called hidefap. At first, I thought finding a new proxy would be a hassle, but when every other site you visit isn’t blocked, it’s actually quite easy. Man, I love having full Internet access again.
30 Observations From a Chinese Immigrant
My wife had compiled a list of observations about life in Utah to send to her friends and family back home. That was about a month ago, actually. It took me a while to get around to translating her points into English so we could share them here:
1. It can still snow in April.
2. Noon is a lot warmer than morning/night.
3. Some highways are completely empty.
4. The sky is blue.
5. You have to wait a long time for a bus, and then the bus is empty.
6. When it’s a wet day, nobody bothers to take an umbrella.
7. You usually have to call a taxi ahead of time.
8. You must make an appointment to see the doctor.
9. Pedestrians have the right of way.
10. Mexican restaurants are everywhere.
11. Chinese fast food is bland.
12. When a traffic light goes out, people still know how to take turns.
13. Hospitals have helicopters.
14. Some firefighters are just volunteers.
15. Everybody likes to put ice in their drinks.
16. You can drink water directly from the tap.
17. Dishwashers are common household appliances.
18. Strangers smile at each other.
19. Sweets really are sweet.
20. Boys will open doors for girls.
21. There are such things as “discount theaters.”
22. Or you can rent a movie from a red box on the street.
23. Sometimes a big soda is cheaper than a small soda.
24. If you can’t drive, it’s very difficult to go anywhere.
25. People take healthy teeth seriously.
26. A large pizza is only $5.
27. You can’t drink alcohol until you are 21.
28. To drive, you have to take a class and complete a lot of homework.
29. There aren’t a lot of native Chinese people.
30. No matter how good some things are, I still miss home.
(Here is the original list written in Chinese.)
A Look Back at NBC’s Outsourced
For the last few weeks, I’d been checking Hulu constantly, waiting for the next episode of Free Agents to appear. When it never did, I finally looked up what was going on and was dismayed to see that the series had been canceled. After only four episodes, canceled! Yeah, it was having a hard time finding its true voice, but it was already funnier than Up All Night and Whitney. How does something like Free Agents get canceled after four episodes when the year before, NBC let a turd like Outsourced run for the entire season?!
Oh, Outsourced… now that brings back memories of a missed opportunity. See, I was really excited for Outsourced, being an ex-expat and all. The show was about an American guy going to work at a call center in India. Working in a foreign country is a comedy gold mine! There are so many misunderstandings, embarrassing moments, and awkward situations to exploit. I’ve been through that. I can totally relate. And when Outsourced focused on Todd’s struggles to adapt to Indian culture, it worked well. Unfortunately, that constituted only about 5% of every episode.
Outsourced, it turned out, wasn’t so much about India as it was about a kooky work place with on-again, off-again romances mixed in. Setting the story in India simply felt like an excuse to hire a bunch of no-name Indian actors. The streets outside the call center didn’t even feel real; everybody spoke English! I don’t care if English is really that prevalent in India. I do, however, find it hard to believe that the locals would talk to each other in English when no Westerners were around. I’m sure they only did this so the viewers at home wouldn’t have to read subtitles, but it absolutely destroyed the show’s credibility.
I’m glad Outsourced didn’t get renewed for a second season, but I’m also sad that something like this will probably never get picked up again by another major network. There was so much untapped potential here, so many funny expat stories to tell and so much cross-cultural information to teach. What better way to learn about a country than to watch a bumbling American slowly fall in love with it for 30 minutes every week? That’s a show I want to see. That’s a show we could really use. Alas, Outsourced wasn’t it, and we’ll never get the one we deserve.
Driving From China to the US
One of the biggest differences between China and the US is the public transportation, or lack thereof. It’s very hard for my wife to get around here when she doesn’t have a driver’s license, and our lame bus system is more trouble than it’s worth. But all that is about to change. Sarah now has a learner’s permit!
My wife actually took driving lessons in China before she moved to the US, not that that matters to the driver’s license division. They don’t even have learner’s permits in China, and the process to get a license doesn’t hit you over the head with as many rules and “things you need to know.” It sounds like it’s much easier to be a legal driver there than it is here. Sarah still has to put in a lot of time with the instructor and me before she can even take the test.
But now that she can drive in a limited capacity, this granted her the opportunity to drive an ATV for the first time in her life. It’s funny how things like ATVs are so commonplace in rural Utah; I don’t even think twice about them, but it’s pretty exciting for a native Chinese person. That, and she also got to ride a horse for the first time in the same weekend. I don’t think you need a learner’s permit for one of those, though…
