Toy Dogs Found in Chinese Walmart
The Walmart in Changzhou has always been a good source for amusing toys. They’ve had those Wii knock-offs in stock for quite a while. On my last visit there, however, I found something even better: packages of toy dogs mounting each other.
A Fishy Shanghai Weekend
I love going to aquariums. There is so much underwater life that is fascinatingly creepy. Looking at some of these species fills you with dread and uneasiness, and yet you can’t wait to see the next exhibit in hopes that it will be even more bizarre. Every aquarium I’ve been to has had a fish I’ve never seen before, too. Like the garden eels in the Shanghai Ocean Aquarium. Man, those are some strange, freaky animals.
I’m still not sure if I love going to Shanghai, though. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on getting around the city, I’m just not particularly fond of the crowds and being accosted by so many locals to buy crap or practice English. More university students confront me in Shanghai than they do in Changzhou, and, taking others’ advice in mind, you can never be sure if these people only want to learn English from you or want to learn English and siphon your money.
On the subject of money, I’ve discovered two knock-off markets (one near the Science & Technology Museum and one on West Nanjing Road) that can be fun in small doses. Well, they’re fun if the vendors have what you’re looking for. The trouble I ran into last weekend was as irritating as it was baffling. I was on the lookout for an Xbox controller, but whenever I would ask a vendor if they had one, it turned into a huge fight.
“Do you have an Xbox controller?”
“Yes, I have.”
“Okay… where is it?”
“Give me a price.”
“Can’t I see the controller first?”
“No, you say how much you want.”
“Are you sure you have a controller?”
“Yes, I have.”
“I don’t think you do.”
“…”
“I want to see the controller.”
“No.”
“Then we’re done here.”
Why were they so secretive about the Xbox controller, when PS2 and Wii controllers were prominently displayed? Sometimes it felt like I was trying to buy marijuana. A few vendors, when asked, would run out of the store, then come back and say, “Yes, I have,” but they still wouldn’t show it to me. It sounded like only one store was selling controllers, and other vendors would have to buy it from them before selling it to me. I picture a smug Chinese guy sitting atop a pile of controllers, pointing his gold-studded scepter at the lower vendors.
The other thing I wanted to see while in Shanghai was the Barbie store. Okay, whatever you’re thinking, stop it. I was more interested in the bar on the top floor than the merchandise below, as the imagery of an overbearingly pink atmosphere and alcoholic drinks is pretty amusing. But though the outside of the store resonated with girlishness, the bar itself was absent of Barbie personality.
Hey, hot stuff, let’s practice English together.
Pandas and Buddhas in Chengdu
Of all the places we visited in China, we spent the least amount of time in Chengdu. The city was mostly included on our itinerary to act as a transfer point between Jiuzhaigou and Guilin. Chengdu is famous for pandas, though. That’s got to be worth something, right? There was originally a nature reserve in the city, but after the Sichuan earthquake, all the pandas were moved to an underwater station, where they are now guarded by sharks with rifles. Fortunately, Chengdu’s second major pandattraction, the Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding, is still intact.
Alas, summer is not a good time to see pandas. In the event of rain or extreme temperatures, the pandas are kept inside, and all the visitors crowd around their small cages, trying to get a picture. The park would have been a letdown had we not discovered two “panda houses” away from all the other nurseries. It seemed like nobody else knew these houses existed, because they were void of tourists yet offered a fantastic, up-close view of a pair of pandas.
Another overlooked treasure at the park were the red pandas. Hey, guess what? Apparently there’s an animal called a red panda! I had no idea they existed. I’m going to go out on a limb, though, and say they’re cuter than regular pandas. Red pandas are now my dream pet. But they don’t get the same special treatment as their black-and-white counterparts; they’ve been relegated to only two nurseries and have no house to retreat to when the weather’s too hot (which is pretty much every day in China in the summer).
The other attraction I wanted to see in Chengdu was the Leshan Giant Buddha, which is in Leshan, not Chengdu, but… oh, shut up. Pictures I had seen of the 71-meter tall Buddha were very inconsistent, since the sight undergoes regular restoration. The old, weathered, plant-covered Buddha I was hoping to see looked a little too clean to be over 1,000 years old. It’s still an impressive structure and, had the weather been milder and the crowds thinner, I probably would have enjoyed it more.
I guess summer isn’t a good time to see Buddhas, either.
Why the Chicken Crossed the Road
While waiting for my order at a small food stand, I became mesmerized with two chickens (real chickens, not attractive women) roaming around on the other side of a small, dirt road. Meanwhile, a woman and her son, chewing on an ear of corn, approached the booth. One of the chickens took notice of the boy’s snack and started across the street to further investigate. Everything seems in order so far.
A silver van suddenly came barreling down the road. The driver didn’t bother to honk or slow down, barely missing a collision with the corn boy. The chicken wasn’t so lucky. It let out a cry and frantically flapped its wing, feathers spraying through the air like a comical pillow fight. Even with its new broken leg, the chicken managed to hobble back to its original spot and lie down. The other chicken quickly ran over to see what was wrong, then gave up when it was clear the injured bird wasn’t getting back on its feet.
And that’s why chickens don’t cross the road.
Jokes aside, I was actually a little bothered by this for the rest of the day. Sure, it may have been “just a chicken” and was destined to be dinner some day, anyway. It’s not like pets are very popular here. I don’t know anybody who has a pet or even wants a pet (though I have seen a few dogs and masters running through the park). Regardless, it’s still sad to see an animal get hurt. The truly scary part, though, is that the van almost hit the boy with the corn. The truly, truly scary part is that there are way too many close calls like this one every day in China.
Not only have I seen other people come within inches of getting creamed by a taxi or bus, I’ve narrowly escaped a couple free trips to the ER, myself (this is assuming someone would take me there for free). Traffic in China is a dangerous mix of pedestrians carelessly jaywalking across busy streets and drivers carelessly flooring it when the lights are red. It really surprises me that I haven’t seen more accidents. The few I have seen have been pretty tame. Maybe when there’s enough chaos, it somehow magically becomes organized? But to the untrained eye, it really does just look like a whole lotta chaos.
Cold Like Harbin
Hey! Remember me? I’m the guy who sometimes writes stuff about China. I didn’t forget about you. I’ve just been on vacation in Harbin for the past week. Harbin is famous for its annual Ice and Snow World Festival, which means it’s also a notoriously cold city. It seemed like everything was covered in ice. People were slipping and falling down everywhere. My bottle of hand sanitizer was frozen solid after my first day outside.
Harbin is a fascinating city, though. This is the kind of city that really feels like Christmas, that really feels like it embraces winter. Random ice sculptures and lights decorate the streets, and once the river freezes over, the city builds this gigantic wonderland out of ice and snow and lights it up Disney-style at night. Check it out:
The train ride from Changzhou to Harbin was 28 hours, and that’s pretty hard to stomach, especially when there aren’t any other foreigners to talk to. Going there wasn’t so bad; I kind of enjoyed busting out some tunes on the Korg DS-10 Synthesizer while watching the moisture on the windows turn to frost. On the way back, though, everything on that train started to irritate me, and I realized I could never again do this by myself. Traveling alone just isn’t very much fun. Even at the Ice and Snow World Festival, I felt foolish going down the ice slides without a friend there to egg me on or at least tell me to act my age.
Of course, ice slides aren’t the only attraction in Harbin. There is a Siberian tiger park where you can take a bus through a wildlife reserve, which I found to be a huge rip-off and a huge letdown. Future travelers beware. Some might consider the park to be a little barbaric, too, since you can purchase live animals to feed to the tigers. I know the tigers have to eat, anyway, but the fact that you can send a chicken to the slaughter for only 40 RMB (or a lamb for 600, or a cow for 1200) is inhumanely discouraging.
Harbin is also very close to Russia and has a lot of Russian influence in its architecture (among other things). St. Sophia’s Church was my favorite:
This isn’t the extent of my vacation, either. Oh, no, no, no, there’s more, but I’ll save that for another day. Stay tuned.
The Zoos of China
Chinese zoos are interesting experiences that can just as easily leave you with a positive impression of animals as they can destroy your faith in human decency. In 2005, I had gone to a zoo in Suzhou where the animals lived in small, dirty cages, and the patrons found sport in throwing food and garbage at them. Amongst the mess, it was startling to see two white wolves holding hands paws through the bars that separated them, like they were trying to comfort each other as the humans danced and whooped like morons.
Yesterday, I went to the Yancheng Zoo in Changzhou, not really sure what to expect. I mean, Chinese zoos don’t have to be sick and depressing. In fact, they can be kind of fun, because the animals are so close to you. You can pet a giraffe and look a white tiger in the eye with only a pane of glass separating you. You can even hang your arm into the lion cubs’ play area, and they’d chew it off if they weren’t so interested in wrestling with each other.
Unfortunately, people take advantage of this closer proximity by throwing food at the animals and banging on the walls. And the zookeepers don’t do anything about it. While it never reached the cynicism of Suzhou’s zoo, watching a grown man hurl rocks at an alligator is still infuriating. But I don’t want this to sound like Chinese people are inherently rude to animals. Not everyone was being a jackass. I’m sure if American zoos weren’t so stringent, there would be plenty of rock-throwing at those alligators, too. Wherever you go, you’ll run into people who secretly enjoy animal cruelty. It’s just that in China, it isn’t much of a secret.
Then I walked past, and everyone forgot all about trying to feed the monkeys junk food. Even the monkeys were surprised to see me. The presence of a foreigner at the zoo was just as much of a spectacle as the animals themselves. It’s a shame I wasn’t wearing an information card that described my origins, though if it came to that, I should probably start expecting people to also poke me with sticks and feed me popcorn and whistle, “Hello, laowai. Hello, hello, hello!” Oh, wait, they already do that.
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