Initial Differences Between China and the US
It’s always strange to return from a foreign country, because, on one hand, it feels like you never left. Everything you did on the other side of the world never happened, and the only reminder you have that you went anywhere is that shelf full of useless souvenirs. But I have been away for a long time, and there are many things about life here that are definitely different from life in China.
Immediately out of the airport, I noticed how much cleaner and quieter the US (or at least Utah) is. That could be because Utah isn’t “big city” like China, but then cars also honk less frequently, and people don’t yell at each other to have a normal conversation. You could have the same number of people in Changzhou’s Walmart or Provo, Utah’s Walmart, and the Changzhou Walmart will always be louder.
What I’m most relieved to get away from, however, is the smoking. I cannot stress enough how physically ill second-hand smoke makes me. Granted, this is a constant battle in the US, too, but at least there are laws to help protect non-smokers. I haven’t had to smell that crap once since I got back. Still, I’m not used to being in a smoke-free restaurant. I keep expecting the guys sitting next to me to start smoking at any second. I hear a “click” and automatically cringe, because it reminds me of the constant clicking of lighters I heard all the time in China.
The weather also feels a lot warmer here, which, at a glance, probably doesn’t make sense. Americans are much better about keeping their buildings heated, though, because we use this crazy technology called insulation, and we don’t open the damn windows during the winter! In China, I had to wear two pairs of pants, a beanie, a jacket, and a coat at all times to stay warm, and that’s suggesting that I actually stayed warm. I didn’t. I was always cold, even in my own apartment. Home again, although there’s snow outside, I’ve been able to shed a layer, because it’s easier to escape the cold.
China is no Excuse to be a Jerk
I was invited to a government banquet and sat at a table with several other foreigners. Before the dinner got underway, one of the foreigners started to get out of his seat, then plopped back down and laughed. “I was going to go outside to smoke, but then I realized I’m in China!” After he lit up, he continued, “I’ve fully embraced Chinese culture.”
No, what you’ve fully embraced is being a douchebag.
Many foreign smokers like to play the “fitting in” card to excuse themselves, but, really, they’re just relieved they no longer have to be on their best behavior like they do when they’re home. Whether you’re Chinese or American, though, cigarette smoke still bothers the non-smoker. The only difference is that a Chinese woman will cough meekly to let you know it bothers her. An American woman will say, “If you don’t put that out, I’m going to kick your ass.”
I’ve been to dinner with a lot of foreigners who didn’t hesitate to smoke in front of me. These are people who come from countries where huge resources are put into banning indoor smoking and informing people how harmful it is. The foreigners know this. They know I know this. It’s not like we are Chinese and think cigarettes are magically good for us. But because they are in China, they revert back to a 60s mindset where my feelings are none of their business.
Granted, if I wasn’t such a weenie, I could easily object. But I don’t. ‘Cause I’m a weenie. In a way, I can relate to the many Chinese women who don’t appreciate it when their husbands and boyfriends smoke but who never bother to put their foot down (in public, at least). It’s hard to be the one to say something. Chinese men will usually ignore your request, anyway, which is why I’d like to think the foreigners who know better would be the ones to set the good example.
Chinese Wedding Banquets
I haven’t attended enough weddings back home to draw fair parallels between the two cultures, but a Chinese wedding is definitely a different experience. It’s more like a banquet, and a couple just happens to be getting married up on stage while everyone chows down. And since this is China, everyone’s chowing down on cigarettes. Every table comes with a bottle of wine, a bottle of beer, a bottle of orange juice, and a tall stack of cigarette boxes. The only place smokier than a wedding is an Internet bar.
While I like the Chinese tradition of only giving the bride and groom money (presented in a red envelope), I don’t approve of the need to hire an MC. Well, okay, he’s like the officiator, even though the couple was already married in a government office, but he’s also relentless with the speeches and the singing and what are ultimately soliloquies. For the whole two hours, he never shuts up! And he’s so loud! The bride, groom, and involved parents do get to say a few words, but it really feels like it’s the MC’s show.
The MC also hosts a game or two and gives prizes away to those who participated. At this last wedding I went to, they pitted some of the girls against the boys in a scavenger hunt competition. Some of the items they were supposed to find included a child’s notebook and a bottle of wine that was still full (good luck with that). In the end, the girls won. Three of them got gigantic stuffed animals to take home. The fourth girl got… two packs of cigarettes. Woohoo.
Five Things I Don’t Like About China
I’ve been sitting on this list for a while, trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that’s been bothering me. Yeah, after 16 months of straight China, I’m in serious need of a break. Now before I get bombarded with comments telling me I can go home whenever I want, keep in mind that I’m still here by my own choosing, and there are still things I like about being here, too. But you don’t always get a positive post from me.
1. The attention
No matter how much I try to put myself in their shoes, I still can’t accept the staring and pointing and giggling and obnoxious “Hallooooo!” calls as anything but condescending. People have suggested moving to a bigger city, like Shanghai, to get away from the attention, but then the locals treat you like a tourist or a language opportunity, and you still don’t feel like you’re being given much respect as an individual.
2. The traffic
This is something you just never get used to. It is so unbelievable how drivers have no regard for the well-being of pedestrians. I seriously never feel safe, even when I’m using the crosswalk with the lights in my favor. Drivers (particularly e-bike drivers, who are the worst) carelessly break all the rules and still have the gumption to honk at you for not getting out of their way fast enough. Oh, it gets better. At night, they’ll even flash their brights at you.
3. The crowds
I’m from a small town in rural Utah. I find it hard to adapt to big cities, and China definitely pushes the envelope. It’s tiring and a tad frustrating having to put up with so many people everywhere you go. It’s impossible to squeeze onto the bus after 8:30, and weekends and holidays jam up the trains so much, it’s better to stay home. Unfortunately, people have taken the crowded factor as an excuse to be pushy and inconsiderate.
4. The smoking
60% of Chinese men smoke. 59% of Chinese men don’t care whether or not it bothers you. Smoking is everywhere. It’s part of the culture. Some people are convinced it’s even good for you. So very few places have no-smoking rules, and of those places, very few actually enforce them. The Chinese smoker is a persistent bugger, though, and he’ll just hide in the bathroom and make it smell even worse. Thanks, but I don’t really like dry-heaving and urinating at the same time.
5. The Internet
I didn’t want this list to become too political, but, honest to God, the Internet censorship drives me crazy. As a web developer and overall computer junkie, I’m on the Internet a lot. Some of my most frequently visited sites, however, like Youtube and Facebook and Blogspot, don’t work in China. Plus, Google periodically blocks a random search, making it hard to do something as simple as looking up teaching ideas. Workarounds exist, but I just want normal Internet.
Smokers are a Special Kind of Asshole
I never did like cigarette smoke (which classifies me as normal), but after being in China for an extended period of time, I’ve adapted a very strong, physical intolerance towards it. This problem has been one part Chinese cigarettes smell like smoldering crap and one part smoking is everywhere. It’s to the point now that if the smell is too thick, I get teary-eyed and start gagging and dry-heaving. Needless to say, I spend much of my free time on the verge of throwing up. Thanks, smoking douchebags!
Don’t worry, this isn’t going to turn into a moral lesson on why it’s important to quit. I understand smoking is a free choice. I also realize that, if we’re in a public, open area, making a scene out of a smoker’s habit makes me look like the asshole. What pisses me off is how so many smokers in China knowingly and apathetically ignore No Smoking signs, particularly indoors where the smoke doesn’t dissipate but just lingers forever. You already know my feelings about this, though. I’ve complained about it enough times.
When someone starts smoking in a place they’re not supposed to, nobody says anything. Too many people are of the mindset that bad people are bad people, and you should just let them be. After reading so many stories in the newspaper about Chinese citizens beating each other to death over silly issues of personal shame, maybe not getting involved really is the best solution. Nevertheless, it drives me crazy, especially since I, not being fluent and always fearing retaliation, am too scared to be the one to take a stand. But I have my limits, and they’ve been pushed many times.
When I finally do decide to call smokers out on their rule-breaking behavior, I am always surprised by their willingness to completely ignore me or treat me like an idiot. They will actually try to hide their lit cigarette from me, thinking that if I can’t see it, then there’s no harm done! A few of the other guys I’ve confronted simply said, “I know I can’t smoke here,” before taking another puff and showing no intention of stopping. Wow. All of my anxieties over talking to people about their smoking were true.
I went rollerskating a few nights ago. They have No Smoking signs posted everywhere, probably because the ashes could ruin the hardwood floor, and probably because nobody wants to inhale nasty cigarette smoke when they’re doing sports. One guy didn’t care and was sitting on the side, right underneath the sign, blowing smoke in my face every time I skated past. Three times, I told him (in Chinese) that he couldn’t smoke here. Every time, he’d say, “I know,” but do nothing about it. Even after I smacked the cigarette out of his hand, he lit another one as soon as I left.
Before things turned to fisticuffs, a few other guys stopped skating to join the light up, and I knew the only way I was going to restore peace was to inform the attendant. I hate being a nark (and I rue the day my middle school classmates realized nark rhymes with Clark), but this was getting ridiculous. This needed to stop. I know smoking is sort of a Chinese tradition, as apologists like to note, but when businesses establish rules to help propagate healthy changes, people need to pay attention. Assholes included. And out they went.
China Ruins Tourism
As I get into this post, you’ll probably point out that other foreign countries are the same way, so let’s just get that out in the open right now and save everyone their breath. I know! I was in Mexico shortly before I left for China and found their vendors just as equally eager to exploit a tourist attraction and harass incoming gringos. The difference between Mexican vendors and Chinese vendors is that Mexican vendors tend to know a little more English than just, “Hello! Cheaper for you! Hello!”
What drives me crazy about tourism in China is that vendors not only congregate outside a tourist attraction, they plague the tourist attraction itself. Jiuzhaigou was swell and all, but I didn’t appreciate the locals asking me if I wanted to try on their Tibetan garbs for a price. Even on the Li River, small rafts would latch onto the side of our boat, and a couple of rough-looking guys would hop on board, trying to push their jade statues on us. Oh, but that’s not nearly as disruptive as the floating vendor booths on the other river ride we went on. It was supposed to be a relaxing moment, and yet they kept pestering me to buy their drinks, squirt guns, and postcards!
While I make an attempt never to reward these people for being a nuisance, Chinese tourists eat it right up. In fact, they’re part of the problem. Every attraction in China is packed with people to the point where it’s barely enjoyable. You become surrounded by these huge tour groups, whose ringleader is yelling over a megaphone, and whose members are always standing in your perfect picture or pushing you out of the way so they can take a photo of themselves with their arms spread out like a dumbass. They hit each photo opportunity as quickly as possible and run you over in the process.
I hate to be the one to say this, but Chinese tourists need to learn some manners… or at least learn how to read the signs that say “No Smoking” and “No Littering.” It’s so hard to appreciate nature when you’re sitting next to a group of middle-aged farts blowing cigarette smoke everywhere or a group of young farts eating noisily and tossing the wrappers on the ground. It wouldn’t be fair to just point the finger at the Chinese, though. Western tourists in China aren’t always on their best behavior, either. It seems like being in China gives some people an excuse to be the slob they’ve always wanted to be back home. Thanks for contributing to the problem, guys.
China is a Smoker’s Paradise
This picture is amusing. They labeled the entrance to the mens’ restroom with a picture of a pipe. Inside, there is a no-smoking sign. But nobody in China ever pays attention to those things. I think businesses just hang them up, because they like the look of the little cigarette with a red line through it. They don’t really want people to stop smoking. And who has enough decency to put out their cigarette, anyway? In China, the non-smoker is the outcast who has to accommodate to everyone else. So what if you’re at the arcade, surrounded by kids, or at the hospital, surrounded by sick people, or on a stuffy train where fresh air is already dangerously low. People don’t give a second thought about lighting up.
And it drives me absolutely crazy.
I hate smoking. I can’t stand it. And so it’s very hard for me to get used to this country where it’s more socially acceptable to have a cigarette in your mouth than a toothpick. I mean, I’ve been told that 60% of Chinese men smoke (while only 3% of women do). Read some of these statistics; it’ll make you never want to come here. Honestly, the smoking issue is reason enough why I couldn’t live in China forever. Chinese cigarettes simply stink too damn much. They smell sooooo bad, far worse than American cigarettes. It makes me gag every time.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like much is being done to fix the problem. Very few places enforce no-smoking rules, regardless if signs are posted. Young people continue to pick up the habit. There’s no push to inform the masses how unhealthy it is. In fact, a lot of them think there are benefits to smoking. And since you can buy a pack of cigarettes for as little as 5 RMB (though nicer ones run into the hundreds), it doesn’t really set you back much. What have you got to lose? Besides 1.2 million Chinese people a year, that is.
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