How to Check Your China Mobile Balance
China Mobile sends out a reminder when your account reaches a particularly low balance, but these messages tend to get lost amongst all the other junk mail. If you missed it, don’t worry. There’s still hope! Write a text message that says Hfcx (and nothing else) and send it to the number 10086. A few seconds later, you’ll get a return message.
This new message is, of course, all in Chinese, but if you scroll down, there will be two numbers followed by a yuan symbol (元). The first number tells you how much you spent last month, and the second number is your current balance. Keep in mind, though, that I’ve only tested this with phones bought in Jiangsu province. The rules may be different in other parts of the country. Feel free to share them if they exist.
Five Web Resources for Learning Chinese
Before I got too tired to study in my free time, I had looked up a lot of ways to expose myself to as much Chinese as possible. Well, I could walk down the street and accomplish that, but it’s a little less intimidating to find ways to practice inside before going outside. Here are some of the tools I found particularly helpful on my journey to move beyond “ni hao.”
1. Perapera-kun Firefox Add-on
If you’re serious about turning your computer into a Chinese-learning station, the best thing you can do is install this add-on for Firefox. With it, you can highlight Chinese characters anywhere in the browser, bringing up a small window with the pinyin and meaning. It’s worth making the crossover to Firefox just for this.
2. Google Gadgets: Word of the Day
And if you haven’t already set iGoogle as your homepage, do so now. I can wait. Some of the widgets you can add to this customizable front page are “Chinese word of the day” applications, and there are a lot of them. Since the words aren’t always useful (why so many math terms?), it’s helpful to have a few of them on there.
3. Chinese Character Flashcards
Learning characters may not be high on your list of priorities, but if you’re itching to impress your friends, this is a great start. It will let you choose what sets of characters to drill (based on their difficulty) and whether to use traditional or simplified characters. The pinyin and English meaning are also given.
4. Serge Melnyk’s Podcasts
Serge Melnyk has already released a huge number of theme-related podcasts that are great to play in the background. Finding this website should be like a gold mine for you. Unfortunately, his voice has seriously gotten to me, but the vocabulary and grammar rules introduced in each lesson are very valuable.
5. Pinyin Translator
While the Perapera-kun add-on may nullify the need for this tool, sometimes it’s nice to be able to convert a large paragraph of Chinese characters to more understandable pinyin. Tones are marked with numbers, though, so if you’re not already familiar with what a first tone is, this won’t be of much help.
Site Statistics Say You’re a Pervert
I love checking my site statistics. It’s a daily ritual, like checking the stock market or Facebook (when it was available… still no luck with that one). It’s always interesting to see what search queries led people to read my blog or at least glance at it and say, “Screw that, I’m outta here.” September’s winner was “paypal sucks,” though it could have done even better if people knew how to spell Paypal (patpal and pappal made the list, as well). Here are the top phrases:
Hey, wait a minute… what’s “hot sister pics” doing on that list? How does my site even come up in those results? You really have to dig deep to see a link among so many porn sites pointing here. All right, so my post about the national park, Huanglong, was titled a little misleadingly. Sister-seekers, however, should realize that a website called “Clark Nielsen for the Win” isn’t going to give them what they want. Huanglong does sound like one hot chick, though. I can’t resist a girl who has “long” in her name.
Paypal Sucks
Every time I try to order plane tickets using Paypal, I get a call from the flight reservation company telling me Paypal is preventing them from receiving my money. So I open my Paypal account and see that it’s been frozen due to suspicious activity. Every… damn… time. When this first happened, I called Paypal in Shanghai and explained that I was on vacation in China. They agreed to re-open my account and mark it as a special “China case.”
A few weeks later, I had to order some emergency tickets from Beijing to Xi’an. Surprise! Paypal froze my account. I called them again. They weren’t as willing to cooperate this time around but finally opened my account so the transaction could go through. Another week later, I tried to order tickets again, this time from Jiuzhaigou to Chengdu. BAM! Frozen. And Paypal refused to help. Nevermind the fact that they opened it twice before and had supposedly marked my account to prevent this from happening in the future. Their only suggestion was to call Paypal’s office in Omaha.
Uh… I’m on vacation in China, you idiots.
When these disputes arise, there are ways you can resolve them without having to call customer support. Their website offers many solutions. Of course, these methods include Paypal calling your house at a certain time, uploading bank statements, or copying information from a check, none of which you can do when you’re on vacation in China! So my account’s still frozen and will probably remain that way for several months. At least I know I’ll have some money waiting for me when I finally go home.
A Day Without a Computer
My reliance on computers had become pretty evident when I was more worried about the prospect of not having my own PC for the month of July over not knowing what I would even be doing about a job. I was able to convince a friend of a friend to let me rent his laptop, but said laptop is old and decided to blue screen me before I had a chance to back up my meticulous itinerary for next month’s vacation. I should learn by now that saying, “Nah!” after telling myself to back something up usually means I’m going to regret it.
A local computer shop re-installed Windows for me—and for free—but the catch is that they installed the Chinese version instead of the English version. The original owner of the laptop is Chinese, so maybe I actually did him a favor, but for the time being, I now have to deal with menus that look like this:
Keep in mind, there’s no way to change Windows from Chinese to English without re-installing with the English CD!
The sad part is, I actually know (for the most part, anyway) how to find my way around Chinese Windows. But before you start to marvel at my superb character-reading skills, I should tell you I’ve already spent so many years of my life navigating around PCs, I have a pretty good idea what the third option from the bottom of every menu does. I’m one step closer to being able to do this in my sleep. Though when I’m having computer problems, I find it hard to sleep at all…
Happy Tiananmen Square Day!
At the risk of having my blog pried from my cold, dead fingers, I’m going to draw attention to the day the PRC wants everyone to remember as the day…
nothing happened.
How can I possibly ignore this, though, considering the Chinese government blocked Youtube at the end of March, Blogspot about two weeks ago, and now Flickr and Twitter. Even Hotmail got the axe, although temporarily. It’s back up now, but man oh man, for the time it was down, I was horrified. This is how I’ve been communicating with recruiters! Totally unfair, guys!
Luckily, Gmail has this cool feature where you can import e-mail messages from another address without actually logging into that account. The downside is that I already had Gmail set up to forward all incoming messages to Hotmail. So when I imported my Hotmail inbox, it sent everything back to Hotmail again and created a nice, big mess for me to clean up once the ban was finally lifted.
Blogspot Blocked in China, 2009 Edition
I am not amused by the Chinese government. Blogspot has been blocked in China again (where the word “again” implies that this has happened multiple times in the past) and joins Youtube as one of my most visited sites I no longer have access to. Well… you can use a proxy server to bypass the block, but it’s a hassle, and I don’t feel very comfortable sending passwords through a proxy. I guess I should just digest my filtered Chinese news like a good boy and be happy nobody’s pulled the plug on my own blog yet. I’d better ensure this never happens with some positive chanting:
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I love China! I love China! I love China! I love China!
I’m not sure if this has anything to do with censorship or if it’s just a mind-boggling coincidence, but sometimes I’ll do a search that shuts down Google for the next several minutes. At any given time on any given day, as soon as I search for “zhenjiang attractions,” Google goes completely blank. Is there something in Zhenjiang I’m not supposed to know about? Oh, right, I should be minding my own business. I love China!
DS Music Games and Applications
I’ve fallen madly in love with this new trend of turning the Nintendo DS into a musical device. There are several retail and homebrew applications available, but discovering the good ones can be a laborious task, so I’ve outlined some of the better games as well as provided example songs. These songs are by no means the epitome of what can be done (except for Electroplankton; I really feel like I maxed it out). They’re included simply to give you an idea of the system’s potential.
I’m often asked how I transfer DS audio to the computer. Luckily for you, this is the easy part. All you need is a 1/8″ male-to-male audio cable (they go for only a few dollars on eBay). One end plugs into your DS’s headphone jack and the other into your computer’s Line In. Then use a program like Sound Recorder (or Garage Band for Mac users) to record to a .wav or .wma file. You just have to make sure your computer is set to record the Line In and not something else like the microphone. In Sound Recorder, go to Edit > Audio Properties > Sound Recording > Volume. It should look something like this:
Somebody once told me their equipment could “pwn” the little setup I have going. Really, now! Nobody expects a DS to compete with an actual guitar or synthesizer. People invest in DS music, because they either don’t have enough patience or talent to learn how to play multiple instruments, don’t have enough money or space to buy said instruments, or travel a lot and want some way to keep their musical interests alive while on the road. There’s your justification. Now let’s get cracking:
Retail Games —
— Electroplankton
In this cutesy Nintendo game, music is created by playing with little fish-like creatures, which ends up being a relaxing experience. The game is fun and charming but comes with two serious caveats. You can’t save the tunes you’ve created, and you can’t overlap electroplankton. If you want to do anything cool with this game, you have to record your sessions live to the computer and mix them together in something like Audacity or Vegas. And while Electroplankton is what started my love affair with experimental music, I really don’t have much use for it anymore. It’s a hard game to find, anyway, so don’t feel bad for missing out.
Examples: Raining on my Town, Left Open
— Korg DS-10 Synthesizer
I could write an entire article on this one alone (and probably should), because it is the absolute best tool available for the DS. Everything else is more like a novelty, a toy, a starting point. The Korg DS-10 Synthesizer, on the other hand, is very capable of pumping out some pretty sweet tunes. It’s so far removed from the restrictions placed on Electroplankton, Nintendo should be embarrassed the two exist on the same handheld. You can save up to 18 songs, 16 patterns in each song, and 24 custom-made instruments (which you can tweak the hell out of thanks to so many daunting knobs and cables). If you are at all interested in portable music, you need to buy this.
— Jam Sessions
I’ve always wanted to learn the guitar but lack the discipline to do it, so it’s nice to have a game that minimizes the trouble it takes figuring out the strings and goes straight into making music. That’s not to suggest Jam Sessions writes rockin’ solos for you. You still need to have a knack for creating songs. If you have no rhythm, don’t expect to find it here. The acoustic guitar sounds fantastic, though, and there are effects you can add to make it more electric. This electric guitar may sound a bit too compressed, but I love it all the same. (The example song below is a composite; the Jam Sessions guitar doesn’t come in until the second half.)
Example: Beware of Michael’s Guitar
— Hannah Montana Music Jam
No matter how I try to introduce this one, including it on the list knocks my credibility down a few notches. But hear me out! Aside from the lame adventure mode, Music Jam comes with a free play mode where you can toy around with a rhythm guitar, lead guitar, bass guitar, and drums. Keep in mind that the instruments are really simple and have been outdone by other games. Jam Sessions, for example, is a far superior guitar. But Jam Sessions doesn’t come with three other instruments or let you pluck individual strings. So Music Jam, then, isn’t a bad choice for those who don’t take music seriously and just want one all-encompassing game cartridge.
Example: Chip Shake
If you’re too masculine to buy a Hannah Montana game, I, like, totally understand and everything! There are other ways to get a drum kit on your DS, but it requires using a flashcart (like the R4, which is being discontinued, or the DSTT). You can get a DSTT and a 4GB microSD card for as little as $15, though, and having access to the homebrew scene is definitely worth it. Unfortunately, a lot of the free, independent DS software out there is not very useful, doesn’t work, or is too confusing for lazy people like myself. Here are some favorites:
Homebrew Games —
— Drum Me
This is very similar to the drum kit in Hannah Montana Music Jam, just without all the girly fanfare. The drums sound great and don’t make popping noises like the other homebrew drum kit, DS Drummy. These drums are way too quiet, however. You’ll need to route the sound through something bigger to take advantage of it.
— Bliptracker
You can also download Bliptracker, which is a little more robust than Drum Me but also a little less user-friendly. I guess that comes with the territory. This is actually a drum machine that allows you store up to four short loops and cycle between them with the D-pad. It’s better than Drum Me, for sure, but doesn’t have quite the same charm.
— cellsDS
This sequencer is my favorite homebrew application and is so easy to use, people who have no previous experience in making music can crank out the beginnings of something cool in just a few minutes. cellsDS allows you to play six layers at once and comes with a whole bunch of different instruments. Unfortunately, it wasn’t designed for left-handed users, but if you download this edited step_sequencer.lua file, it will move the D-pad functionality over to the right side.
Examples: Potato Slam, Versus Viper Dog
— DS Sampling Keyboard
Another easy, fun music tool is this sampling keyboard. You can record an audio clip through the DS’s microphone and play around with it on a small keyboard. If you’re at a party and need a quick laugh, you can always burp into the microphone and play back “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” But other than that, you probably won’t get much professional use out of it.
— Mario Paint Composer
And you probably won’t be making any mega hits with Mario Paint Composer, either, but the fond memories it’s likely to induce makes it worth a look. This is more than just a faithful recreation of the classic SNES game, though. Several improvements have been made, such as allowing you to place sharps or flats, create longer songs than before, and save them to your card.
— Nitro Tracker
I’m also obligated to mention Nitro Tracker, which is one of the most powerful homebrew music tools but one of the most confusing. I honestly have no intention of investing the time necessary to master this program when there are better games out there. It’s nice to have on hand, though, because it can do what the DS Sampling Keyboard does, except here you’re able save the sounds you recorded and mix them together.
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